A deep dive with Carmita Junger, whose decision to speak openly about being raped at seventeen has transformed a deeply personal journey of trauma, silence and healing into a call for more compassion around sexual violence.

Carmita grew up in a loving family and describes her childhood as carefree. At seventeen, that changed within hours. Excited to visit the person she had fallen in love with for the first time, she returned home on the same train feeling completely broken after he raped her. She cried openly during that sixty minute journey, hoping someone would ask if she was okay. Nobody did. She arrived home to an empty house and eventually decided to carry what had happened alone.

For years Carmita became incredibly good at wearing a mask. It wasn't until depression, PTSD, therapy and eventually speaking about her rape in front of strangers during group therapy that silence gradually started making way for something else: 

⇾ 𝗿𝗲𝗰𝗹𝗮𝗶𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗿𝗼𝗹 𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗼𝘄𝗻 𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗿𝘆!

Deep dive talking points:

👉🏾 Breaking the silence together: why speaking up matters but why healing cannot become the responsibility of survivors alone;

👉🏾 Behind the mask of trauma: how Carmita continued university, friendships and everyday life while carrying an experience nobody around her could see

👉🏾 The loneliness of avoidance: how friends and family responded with empathy when Carmita finally opened up but rarely asked about it again because they were afraid of saying the wrong thing

👉🏾 Reclaiming control through speaking up: how writing publicly about sexual violence changed Carmita's relationship with her story from something controlled by the person who raped her into something that belongs to her!

Nuggets of empowerment:

🙌🏾 Trauma doesn't have a correct appearance. Someone can laugh, study, work and continue living while carrying immense pain underneath what others can see;

🙌🏾 Healing doesn't follow somebody else's timeline. What Carmita couldn't speak about at seventeen became possible later and learning not to judge herself for that has become part of the healing itself!

In Carmita's words: 🙌🏾 “It's not about him anymore. It's about me now”🙌🏾

There is something deeply important in Carmita's distinction between breaking the silence and breaking the silence together. Speaking up can return agency to someone whose control was taken away but what happens next also depends on how the rest of us choose to listen.

Maybe the question isn't whether we know the right thing to say!

What if it starts with having the courage to stay present and ask: what do you need from me?

Connect with Carmita:

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/carmita-junger-4a9b69220/

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