In this episode, I connected with Anniek van Veldhuizen, engineer and co-founder of MyHives, whose journey from learning to fit into predefined boxes to building technology that helps people move with confidence is deeply rooted in one question: can we truly belong without shrinking ourselves?

Growing up in the Dutch Bible belt, Anniek learned early how quickly being different could make you stand out. She loved princess dresses and glitter while playing football with the boys. Later, studying civil engineering at TU Delft meant entering another environment where adapting often felt easier than fully expressing herself.

For years she built the life that seemed to make sense. A good job in impact investing, a relationship, a house, a dog and stability. Then a work trip to Uganda disrupted something inside her. She experienced a vibrancy and freedom that made returning to her settled life suddenly feel different. 

What followed wasn't simply a career change. It became a process of questioning what she had accepted, leaving behind parts of a life that no longer fitted and rediscovering who she was underneath years of adaptation. 

Deep dive talking points:

👉🏾 Belonging without shrinking: how seemingly small experiences of being different can slowly teach us to suppress parts of ourselves;

👉🏾 When comfort stops fitting: how Anniek's experience in Uganda awakened a feeling of aliveness she could no longer ignore;

👉🏾 Becoming unapologetically yourself: learning to stop making yourself smaller simply to make other people more comfortable;

👉🏾 Turning lived experience into purpose: how Anniek and her co-founder Nelson connected their very different experiences of safety, belonging and unheard voices to build My Hives;

👉🏾 Making invisible experiences visible: why incomplete data creates incomplete solutions and how listening to how people actually feel can reshape physical, social and psychological safety;

Signs of empowerment: 

🙌🏾 Belonging loses its meaning when the price of admission is suppressing part of who you are. Real belonging creates enough safety for difference to remain visible.

🙌🏾 Awareness doesn't immediately erase old habits. Anniek still catches herself toning things down. Empowerment starts in noticing that default and choosing differently anyway.

As Anniek puts it: 

🙌🏾 “I'd rather have an uncomfortable life with purpose than having this super comfortable stable life where I am constantly fitting in.”

Anniek's story leaves me with a question that reaches far beyond entrepreneurship or technology: 

⇾ where are we still toning ourselves down because belonging feels safer than being fully seen?

⇾ and what could become possible if we stopped shrinking there?

Connect with Anniek:

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/anniek-van-veldhuizen-27731514a/ 

Website: https://www.myhives.nl/en-GB 

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